Learn More About Mediation.
My focus is a fresh approach to promote cohesiveness to conflict differences while building a better understanding in any relationship through conversation, understanding and negotiations. I do this by engaging with individuals, families and work teams. The focus is on sustainable and affordable interventions: facilitating conversations, meetings, and encouraging participation in mediation, difficult conversations and leadership development.
I make it my mission to create awareness around our ability to show up as leaders, and to develop these qualities, dormant or active, in every participant that I deal and work with. I am based in Gauteng, but I also specialise in online mediations, group and individual interventions, consultations, advice and support.
WHAT DOES A MEDIATOR DO?
To act as a neutral third party who facilitates discussions between the parties. In addition, I serve in an evaluative role when I analyse, assess the issues, and engage in reality-testing.
WHAT STEPS ARE IN MEDIATION?
There are 6 steps to a formal mediation; 1) introductory remarks, 2) statement of the problem by the parties, 3) information gathering time, 4) identification of the problems, 5) negotiate and generating options, and 6) reaching an agreement.
I OFFER THE FOLLOWING:
Mediation Services for individuals as well as groups
Difficult Conversations and negotiation disputes
Exploring Inclusivity: Toward Team; Community Building
Sexual Harassment Awareness Negotiation Training and Disputes
Higher Education Interventions Mediation
Higher Education Mentorship
Divorce and Family Law Mediation
EXPLORING SERVICES ON OFFER:
Review and negotiate of an appropriate leadership: the mediator as ‘Leader’. We explore styles of leadership, and look at how power operates, and how unequal relationships challenge the effective exercise of leadership qualities.
Overview of challenging cases: what is ‘mediable’? What are the guidelines, tips and survival codes in, for example, for mediating Sexual Offences/ Harassment type cases? Bullying, Racism, Racial Harassment? I bring work experience in these areas, and I have little doubt that you will find my observations and insights helpful.
Group Mediation: Is there a model that works best, when a whole unit/group/department feels that the issue that needs to be tackled should be done in a group? I offer a model that works successfully in different group settings.
Community of practice: How important is it for the trainees to remain cohesive, and to remain in the learning zone? I use proven community of practice models to solidify and inspire trainees to keep informed, connected, and to share and learn, from experiences.
Individual Mediations: My career as a practising mediator includes dealing with diverse, long-standing conflict and divisive differences. I have acquired a comprehensive framework of cases, and a deep understanding of individual pursuit for fairness, forgiveness, goodwill and the ability to make amends. I endeavour to help parties to carve out their own solutions, stand-offs, or ongoing quest to co-exist. This includes work in the field of HR related matters, Higher Education (disputes between students and staff), family disputes, divorce settlements, and also Child maintenance and custody negotiations.
Group Mediations: In many instances, more than 2 parties engaged in differences/disputes have a need to convene, meet, and require the intervention of a process with a seasoned facilitator to assist in finding common ground. This could be an entire unit, department, or just a working team, where a dispute becomes a real obstacle within the work environment. I also offer very specific group mediation where groups engage in a structured manner around the principles of recognition and empowerment to find workable solutions.
Corporate Interventions/Facilitated meetings: Not all group meetings require a mediation format. Some groups need an experienced facilitator to lead and manage a difficult discussion. This is particularly useful where the neutrality or impartiality of the ‘outside facilitator’ provides the cues and discussions points, without being too central. Examples here would include Strategic Planning Meetings, Special Elections, Board meetings where particularly sensitive matters need to be discussed.
Family/Divorce Mediation: Families that are going through difficult times could often benefit from the facilitation skills of a trained mediator to help negotiate and manage a difficult transition, especially where children are deeply challenged by a dramatic change in their familiar worlds. My experience as Mediator in Childcare has added significantly to my ability to provide care and assistance.
Mediation is at least 70% less expensive than litigation, quicker and less traumatic. Mediation is always voluntary for the parties and they can at any time leave the negotiations. In mediation confidentiality is respected.
Mediator is neutral and impartial.
Mediator does not offer any legal advice.
Mediator presides over the negotiations
TYPES OF MEDIATION
The mediation includes disputes relating to all personal relationships between parties, including with reference to: a marriage (civil and/or religious); a Customary Union; and a Partnership Agreement governing a personal relationship; parties cohabiting.
WHICH SITUATIONS ARE SUITED TO MEDIATION?
Any situation where the parties need to have a relationship in the future.
Situations where children are involved.
Situations where people have difficulty settling differences between themselves.
Situations where big decisions are required in a relatively short period of time.
ADVANTAGES OF MEDIATION
It is voluntary
Joint decisions are made on issues relating to; the children; custody and access; finances; Expensive litigation is avoided
The emotional stress of divorce is minimized
Conflict is reduced by parties working together
Mediation is a process where people appoint a third party to help them resolve disputes between themselves: Mediation is not a court hearing. The mediator is not a judge. Mediation is not counselling or therapy.
WHAT GETS DISCUSSED IN MEDIATION
All matters pertaining to divorce; E.G., Division of Assets, Maintenance, and Parenting Plans (how each parent is going to exercise their respective responsibilities and rights in respect of minor children).
Any other problems the parties may be having regarding divorce may also be discussed and resolved.
THE MEDIATION PROCESS
The mediation process takes between 3 and 5 sessions of 60 minutes each.
At the end of the mediation process I will provide the parties with a Settlement Agreement. This document details all the points of agreement reached during the mediation process.
Parenting Plans are drafted where there are minor children involved. In the case of divorce this is an annexure to the Settlement Agreement.
Where the couple were unwed, Parenting Plans are drafted on their own.
Where the couple were unwed and require a Settlement Agreement, this is also prepared.
The mediation includes disputes relating to all personal relationships between parties, including with reference to:
A marriage (civil and/or religious);
A Customary Union; and
A Partnership Agreement governing a personal relationship; parties cohabiting Separation Mediation
EXAMPLE OF DIFFICULT CONVERSATION:
How would you define a difficult conversation…?
Is it that engagement that has one scraping the barrel for courage to be present, and to participate?
Is it the fear of confrontation, the dread of possible humiliation, the doom of loss of dignity? Or just the awkwardness of it all?
And do we really need help assistance or even coaching, in making this easier?
My answer remains yes. See if the following resonates with you:
Confidence/ability to be present
Ability to be part of a conversation, and to be heard
Preservation and management of dignity
Increased productivity at work
Improved ability to manage, maintain and engage in relationships
All of the above are important if you have ever been in situations where your inability, reluctance (for whatever reason), lack of courage, frozenness or just plain fear has prevented you from participating in any conversation or meeting. And made you feel really sorry in the aftermath, because of a missed opportunity to show up as yourself.
Conflict resolution: Strategies designed to address, explore and manage conflict, differences and tension between individual students, groups of students, student representatives and classes grappling with lecturers, supervisors or staff in general. Most of these dilemmas are solvable in the context of a structured and facilitated conversation, and it is this kind of intervention that I specialise in.
EXAMPLE OF MEDIATION WORKSHOPS:
Most of us spend most of our time at work. More than at home, even in the context of the pandemic. We work with colleagues, random strangers, people we like, and also people we do not particularly like, or get on with. Our time and focus should be spent in a way that is productive, but also in a way that reminds us that we belong to a community. And this is where we at least share some common ground, as well as some responsibilities to make our work spaces workable, endearing and humane.
All work teams are going through challenging times, and not just lately. Managers, team-leaders and supervisors are increasingly expected to be care-giver, counsellor, advisor, in loco parentis. This is a taxing combination and a reality that often neglects a number of important issues:
WHO IS CARING FOR THE CARE-GIVER?
When and how are we (as leaders) developing our (crucially important) skills such as empathic communication, mindfulness and being courageous?
Are we having the kind of conversations in (and outside of) our team that are difficult, crucial, and necessary?
Who is helping, guiding and encouraging all team members to show up as leaders?
There is a sense of urgency for teams to be able to share resources, experiences and of course, collective wisdom. This sharing can be significantly improved if the cohesiveness and dare I say, sense of family, is amplified. This can, and should be done, by making available participative learning and experiential exercises that have the potential to contribute to better teamwork, improved cohesiveness and inclusivity.
These Are The Challenges That Will Be Addressed In A Workshop With Your Team.
We will explore and examine examples that challenge our ability to function under pressure, as a team, and in the context of working in a puddle where criticism regularly rains in. During this training, a Community of Practice Model (specifically designed staff meetings as opportunities for sharing collective experiences and challenges) will be introduced as an innovative and sustainable way to promote and foster greater collegiality and cohesiveness.
I invite you to contact me for a free quotation on how best to respond to the needs of your group. I will suggest either a half or full day workshop to add significantly to the communication and listening skillsets of all participants. My experience and working in very diverse communities (corporates, Higher Education as well as disadvantaged communities) is likely to stand you and your team in good stead.
Work Environment Employer and Staff:
Community Building. Working in a unit, department or team does not automatically mean that you are seen, heard, or feel valued as a team member. In most of the many spot audits done with groups of staff, the overwhelming indication is (usually) that there may just be trouble in paradise. Few individuals feel part of a ‘one big happy family’. This may not necessarily be the required standard, but feeling heard, valued and useful certainly helps to transform the workplace.
Emphasis will be on the art of conversation: how do we begin and sustain a dialogue about personal history, own stories, experiences, in a way that engages others, yet also enables us to listen in a way that recognises and empowers.
I guide groups of staff through these (fairly robust) conversations to create the kind of space that is useful and necessary to not only survive, but to become co-creators of a new workspace. One that allows for conversations, activities, awareness and mindfulness to appreciate and better understand each other.
Conflict resolution: Where staff members on opposites of the table perceived their differences as insurmountable, a facilitated and structured process is most often required. I offer individual mediation sessions, where each person (party to the mediation) will be provided with a pre-mediation meeting, and an opportunity frame the dispute, and a potential best outcome (also referred to as frame of reference). I conduct the joint session at a neutral place, and will assist parties to articulate their differences in a manner that is constructive, hopeful and in a spirit of goodwill.
Mediation sessions for individual parties
Group mediation sessions where more than two members of a team are affected by a dispute or differences
Facilitated conversations, where participating members do not require a formal structure such as mediation, but the need to be guided through a potentially rich and difficult conversation.
Advice and Support: Setting up support offices, structures, recruiting and training staff for the implementation, management and ongoing development of policies. This requires insight, tenacity and hindsight from someone who has done this before.
WHY CHOOSE ME TO MEDIATE YOUR MATTER?
Offer a personal service;
Strive for client satisfaction;
Accredited with SAAM; AFSA (The Arbitration Foundation of South Africa); Certified as an International Mediator and as such is registered on the ADR International Register;
Our offices are a stone throw away from all major highways;
We offer an after- hours service when necessary;
We are open on most Saturdays (by appointment) only;
WE EXPERTLY PREPARE:
Settlement Agreement and/or Parenting Plans and/or whatever Agreements are necessary pertaining to your dispute;
©2021. NADINE VAN RENSBURG COUNSELLING THERAPIST. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. COUNCIL OF COUNSELLORS REGISTRATION: IR 10177