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Going through a separation or divorce can be very difficult, no matter the reason for it. It can turn your world upside down and make it hard to get through the workday and stay productive. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult adjustment.
Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused—and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.
Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you’re accustomed to for a while. Take time to heal, regroup and re-energize.
Don’t go through this alone. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. Consider joining a support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Don’t be afraid to get outside help if you need it.
Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Be good to yourself and to your body. Take time out to exercise, eat well and relax. Keep to your normal routines as much as possible. Try to avoid making major decisions or changes in life plans. Don’t use alcohol, drugs or cigarettes to cope; they only lead to more problems.
Avoid power struggles and arguments with your former spouse. If a discussion begins to turn into a fight, calmly suggest that you both try talking again later and either walk away or hang up the phone.
Take time to explore your interests. Reconnect with things you enjoy doing. Have you always wanted to take up painting or play on a sports team? Sign up for a class, invest time in your hobbies, volunteer, and take time to enjoy life and make new friends.
Think positively. Easier said than done, right? Things may not be the same, but finding new activities and friends, and moving forward with reasonable expectations will make this transition easier. Be flexible. Life will get back to normal, although “normal” may be different from what you had originally hoped.
Contact me to help work through your separation or divorce - firstname.lastname@example.org or on 084 779 4889. Visit my website on www.nadinetherapy.co.za.
I use a meaning and value based approach to help people conquer their problems, challenges, fears and obstacles for a happier and more fulfilled life.
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