​We are already in the middle of January – so how are you feeling? Everything is back in full swing – school has started, we are back at work, the traffic is hectic. Real life, I guess. So how do we cope and make the best of 2019?
 
While there are no easy or quick answers, here are some guidelines that may resonate with you.
 
Take a deep breath. It is easy for our fears to overwhelm us. Panic, fitful sleep and intense anxiety can escalate quickly. There is much research evidence as well as clinical best practices that underscore the importance of taking some long, deep, and diaphragmatic breaths to help calm us down and both help organise and centre us. While the popular suggestion, “don’t forget to breathe” seems a bit silly, it really is wise advice to pay close attention to your breath and be mindful that your breath can help you manage daily challenges. It is free, always available, easy and effective – try it!
 
Grow where you are planted. It is easy to be overcome with all the challenges of our nation and world. Know what you can’t change and what you can – and make a difference right where you are – your home, community, work - leave someone feeling better after an encounter with you. Be kind – to yourself and others.
Reflect on your own values. Regardless of what goes on around us and what we hear about in the media, we make daily choices about who we are and who we want to be. We can decide what values we hold near and dear to us and live them. Living a life of honesty, integrity, responsibility, concern for others inspires and motivates us to thrive in challenging environments.
 
Be thoughtful about media exposure. With the presence of 24/7 news as well as the influence of social media, it is easy to feel overwhelmed about the troubles of the world. Be thoughtful about too much media exposure. Spend time in nature away from computers and smartphones. Research suggests that too much screen time is bad for our mental health and time in nature, as well as with caring and supportive others, is good for our mental health too.
 
Becoming a mentally strong person takes practice and mindfulness. What happens to us plays far less a role in our happiness and success than our response to what happens to us.
 
To develop and maintain the kind of mental resilience that contributes to a healthy and happy life, daily attention must be given to our thoughts and behaviours.
Help keep yourself prepared for whatever comes your way tomorrow by practicing good habits of mind and attitude:

• Emotional stability. Build emotional stability by acknowledging your emotions, expressing them in a healthy manner, and talking about them
• Perspective. Learn to keep your challenges in proper perspective without losing sight of what you need to accomplish.
• Readiness for change. If change is truly the only constant, then flexibility and adaptability are among the most important characteristic you can develop.
• Detachment. You can get through setbacks and come out even stronger if you can remember that's it's not about you. Don't take things personally or waste time wondering Why me? Instead focus on what you can control.
• Strength under stress. Maintain resilience in the face of negative pressures by developing your capacity to deal with stressful situations.
• Patience. Don't expect results immediately or rush things to fruition before their time. Anything worthwhile takes hard work and endurance; view everything as a work in progress.
• Control. Avoid giving away your power to others. You are in control of your actions and emotions; your strength is in your ability to manage the way you respond to what is happening to them.
• Endurance in the face of failure. View failure as an opportunity to grow and improve, not a reason to give up. Be willing to keep trying until you get it right.
• Unwavering positivity. Stay positive even when you encounter negative people. Elevate them; never bring yourself down. Don't allow naysayers to ruin the spirit of what you're accomplishing.
• Contentment. Don't waste time being envious of anyone else's car, house, spouse, job, or family. Instead be grateful for what you have.
• Tenacity. It comes down to just three words: Never give up.
• A strong inner compass. When your sense of direction is deeply internalised, you never have to worry about becoming lost. Stay true to your course.

 
Contact me to help you build emotional resilience - [email protected] or on 084 779 4889. Visit my website on www.nadinetherapy.co.za.

Credit: inc.com: psychologytoday.com

Starting off a new year is both exciting and anxiety-provoking. It is often a transition period for many – the start of a new school year, a new job, or trying to resolve issues from the previous year. Whatever you are feeling, it is normal to have a variety of emotions around the New Year.
 
It is important to be comfortable with your feelings – no matter what they are. Trying to suppress or deny them is of no use. It is better to acknowledge them, feel them, talk about them, and move on.
Being emotionally healthy does not mean you are happy all the time. It means you are aware of your emotions. You can deal with them, whether they are positive or negative.
 
Emotional health is an important part of overall health. People who are emotionally healthy are in control of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. They can cope with life’s challenges. They can keep problems in perspective and bounce back from setbacks. They feel good about themselves and have good relationships.
Research shows that emotional health is a skill.
 
Here are some steps to build a robust emotional skillset:

• Be aware of your emotions and reactions. Notice what in your life makes you sad, frustrated, or angry. Try to address or change those things.
• Express your feelings in appropriate ways. Let people close to you know when something is bothering you. Keeping feelings of sadness or anger inside adds to stress.
• Think before you act. Emotions can be powerful. Give yourself time to think and be calm before you say or do something you might regret.
• Manage stress. Try to change situations causing you stress. Learn relaxation methods to cope with stress. These could include deep breathing, meditation, and exercise.
• Strive for balance. Find a healthy balance between work and play and between activity and rest. Make time for things you enjoy. Focus on positive things in your life.
• Take care of your physical health. Your physical health can affect your emotional health. Exercise regularly, eat healthy meals, and get enough sleep. Don’t abuse drugs or alcohol.
• Connect with others. We are social creatures. We need positive connections with other people.
• Find purpose and meaning. Figure out what it is important to you in life and focus on that. Spend your time doing what feels meaningful to you.

 
Contact me to help you build emotional resilience - [email protected] or on 084 779 4889. Visit my website on www.nadinetherapy.co.za.
 
Credit: familydoctor.org